when i'm sarcastic
by pegasus writing-dragon
Summary: Oneshot SnapeHermione, snape gets caught inventing lyrics.


When I'm sarcastic

When I'm sarcastic

It was a Friday of the last week of school. NEWT's had been sat and the seventh year students were attending the last potions class they would ever have to face. For this last week they had noticed the potions master seemed… almost relaxed. Or at least he wasn't snapping at every little thing and most associated this with the fact that Harry Potter was graduating and would be leaving the school forever. One however, knew different but she wasn't talking.

The Gryffindor students made it down to the dungeon classroom five minutes early only to hear the strangest sound coming from it. Music. Not just any music though, muggle country music.

Not wanting to draw the attention of the man within they gathered around the door, holding their collective breaths. The song finished before they could hear any of the words and another started, a dark silky voice joining in and adjusting the words.

"_She don't love me for my masters,_

'_Cause they take all I've ever got to give,"_

Jaws dropped again. Someone would actually willingly get that close to the grease git! Shifting even closer to the door no body noticed the fact that Hermione had sifted to the back and was blushing slightly.

"_Every time the fire goes out its freezing, _

_She don't love me for the dungeons where we live._

_Something keeps her holding on so strong,_

_My Hermy loves it, when I'm sarcastic,_

_And I'm confessing, it's running through my brains,_

_I've got the fever; I'm a true believer, _

_When she says she wouldn't have me any other way."_

As one the entire group turned to face the girl who by that point resembled a tomato but had a smile one her face. Not wanting to miss the rest of the performance they listened again to the singing.

"_She don't love me for my potions, _

'_Though I could make her anything, almost,_

_And its common knowledge that I'm not good looking,_

_When it comes to that I, missed out more than most."_

The Slytherin students had started to arrive and they too were shocked by the fact that Snape was singing and even more so but the lyrics he had written. Most nodded in agreement to the last 2 lines.

"_Something keeps her holding on so strong,_

_My Hermy loves it, when I'm sarcastic,_

_And I think she knows now, I'm never gonna change,_

_I've got the fever; I'm a true believer, _

_When she says she wouldn't have me any other way._

_Something keeps her holding on so strong, so strong,_

_My Hermy loves it…"_

Draco Malfoy who had only just walked up gagged at that and instantly the singing stopped. They heard movement from with in the room and a second later it was completely silent. Menacing footsteps approached the door, making all but Hermione take a few strides backwards. Some (Neville Longbottom) even scurried half way back down the corridor. The door swung open, hitting the wall with a loud crash showing the dark haired, black robed man in all his glory. Minutes ticked by as he stood glaring at the soon to be ex-students and they stared back in various states of shock and fear.

Finally the tension got to be too much for Hermione who hadn't managed to wipe the pleased smile off of her face.

"I'm glad I left my CD's with you, I knew you would find a way to listen to them without having to go to my house again." his glared shifted to her which only made her smile grow. "You know that doesn't work on me and I know you made sure that there was nothing but truth in the lyrics you created, there never is."

That worked to get the other students moving again. Forgetting about the lesson they were supposed to be having they bolted, some for their common rooms to spread the news and others for the bathrooms holding their mouths and stomachs. Harry and Seamus were the last to leave but they too were going as fast as they could while carrying Neville who had fainted under the force of the glare. Both Hermione and Snape watched them go then turned to each other. Snape spoke first, not quite hiding his embarrassment.

"That was meant to be a surprise."

"It was." Hermione replied moving closer to him.

"And it was certainly not meant to be heard by anyone else." He stepped forward and caught her hands.

"Well," she commented after a moment. "At least we no longer have to come up with a way to let people know."

"Hmm." A reluctant half-smile appeared on his face, lightening the creases in his brow.

"Well there is that. Plus, the looks they had when you spoke had great entertainment value, I do have to admit."

"Well, since there seems to be no student left down here to torture – I mean teach, how do you prepose we spend the next hour and a half?"

Turning back towards the classroom Snape flicked his wand and the song started again.

"This time you can hear it as you were meant to." He said, pulling her in to the room and casting the strongest silencing ward he could on the door as it clicked shut softly.

_Can you believe it! I can actually write one-shots. The full lyrics are in My Creations along with the orriginal lyrics which belong to Lee Kernaghan._


End file.
